


I have no idea what to title this

by wow_thats_angsty



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Sleep | Remy Sanders, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has A Different Last Name, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is So Done, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Chaotic Morality I Patton Sanders, Chaotic Sleep | Remy Sanders, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Has A Different Last Name, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Little Shit, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Has A Different Last Name, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Little Shit, Deceit | Janus Sanders Has A Different Last Name, Deceit | Janus Sanders is Extra, Deceit | Janus Sanders is So Done, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Little Shit, Gen, Janus and Remus highkey flirting, Logan Sanders is the only sane one, Logic | Logan Sanders Has A Different Last Name, Logic | Logan Sanders is So Done, M/M, Memes, Morality I Patton Sanders is the Dad-friend, Morality | Patton Sanders Has A Different Last Name, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Little Shit, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Musical References, Nonbinary Sleep | Remy Sanders, Patton quotes memes, Sleep | Remy Sanders Has A Different Last Name, Sleep | Remy Sanders is a Little Shit, Surrealist memes, WHO GAVE PATTON A GUN, Wicked References, why is that not a tag?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27830176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wow_thats_angsty/pseuds/wow_thats_angsty
Summary: Ever since he moved from the shitstain that is Alabama to the hellhole that is Florida, Virgil got stuck with the same damn kids. Every. Year. Sure, they were his closest friends but they were still annoying as hell. And they only got more annoying when his school shut down.I thought a conversation in my science class was funny so I made a whole nine-chapter fic about Virgil's school day. This is mostly told through the chat box in virtual classrooms *cough cough* Microsoft Teams *cough cough* Patton quotes a lot of memes. Patton is the funniest bitch in the room. Janus and Remus are flirting. The number of times Remus will joke about fucking Janus will probably be very, very high.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman & Dark Creativity | Remus & Deceit | Janus & Logic | Logan & Thomas Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus & Deceit | Janus & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Emile Picani, Dr. Emile Picani & Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 28
Kudos: 48





	1. Period 1: Science.

**Author's Note:**

> There's definitely some cursing in this fic. Remus and Janus are highkey flirting with each other. Please read Virgil's messages in a southern accent, please. You don't know how much I need southern Virgil in my life.

Ever since he moved from the shitstain that is Alabama to the hellhole that is Florida, Virgil got stuck with the same damn kids. Every. Year. Sure, they were his closest friends but they were still annoying as hell. And they only got more annoying when his school shut down. 

\-----

####  **Science: Period 1.**

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Sup bitches

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Good morning, Virgil. 

Do we have bellwork?

**_Taylor, Meridith. V_ **

Nope! Today’s a catch-up day for those of you who need to turn in missing work. 

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

What do we do if we don’t have any missing work?

**_Taylor, Meridith. V_ **

There’s a video assignment that you can do for extra credit. If you finish that early, you can work on assignments from another class or take a nap. Just keep your mics off and I’ll be happy.

Virgil could see Remus sitting on his stove through Roman’s camera. Virgil was thoroughly disgusted by this cardinal sin. 

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Roman why is remus sitting on your stove

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

I don’t know but rest assured I called him a freak for doing so

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

I get most of the shit i do is weird but it’s just our stove

Like this isn’t my worst sin

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

No this actually might be your worst sin, i wanna spit on you now

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

In a kinky way?

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Why not 

;)

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Can y’all not

Patton is reading these

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

Sometimes I forget that you used to live in the deep south

I mean who unironically uses “y’all” in a sentence

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Me apparently 

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Ya know

I own a gas stove which would probably be harder to sit on than your electric one, Roman. So it’s a sin, just not as much as sitting on a gas stove would be

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

I do not understand why one would sit on their stove. It’s rather difficult to gauge the temperature of the stove at a given time. You aren’t going to sit on it while it’s on but not right after you turn it off. It might be cold to sit on a while after. It seems uncomfortable to say the least. 

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

I have sat on it while it was on

**_Picani, Emile. A_ **

Dude wtf

Did you not burn yourself

?

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

I’m pretty sure that Remus has a stove fetish

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Out of ALL of the potential kinks and fetishes I have….

You choose stoves

?

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

**__ **

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Fuck off

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

Remus totally has a boner now

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

ah

yes

stoves

Thomas was being a good kid and was _actually_ trying to do the extra credit assignment so he hadn’t been paying attention to the chat. 

**_Sanders, Thomas. F_ **

whats happening

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

  1. We are debating how sinful it is for Remus to sit on a stove
  2. We are debating if Remus has a stove fetish



**_Sanders, Thomas. F_ **

oh

cool

good for you

**_Taylor, Meredith. V_ **

@Kingsley, Remus. B  you have so much missing work, you’re literally failing my class, you better get working.

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Of course, I will, ma’am

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

You dirty liar

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Ooh yes, degrade me, daddy

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

**Cocks gun**

Not in this w h o l e s o m e c h r i s t i a n m i n e c r a f t s e v e r

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

WHO GAVE PATTON A GUN

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

PATTON NO

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

PATTON NO

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

PATTON NO

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

PATTON NO

**_Taylor, Meredith. F_ **

PATTON NO

**_Picani, Emile. A_ **

PATTON NO

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

PATTON NO

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

PATTON YES

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

REMUS LOOK WHAT YOU DID

YOU CORRUPTED PATTON I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

**I HOPE YOURE HAPPY NOW**

**I HOPE YOURE HAPPY HOW YOU HURT YOUR CAUSE FOREVER**

**I HOPE YOU THINK YOURE CLEVER**

IM SO FULL OF REGRET I JUST HAD TO MAKE THE REFERENCE

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

CURSE YOU FOR PREYING ON MY LOVE OF MUSICAL THEATRE

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Remus didnt corrupt me, it was jan

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Shh _no it wasn’t_

**_Taylor, Meredith. V_ **

Oh it was totally Jan. 

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Don’t expose me like that Mrs. Taylor

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Wow

How would Priscilla react if she knew that you were corrupting Patton?

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Bold of you to assume that Priscilla isn’t helping me corrupt Patton. 

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

_Gasp_

NOT PRISCILLA 

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Nuuuuu

Priscilla is baby

I love her

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Are all of you suggesting that Janus’s pet snake has been helping Janus corrupt Patton?

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

Yes, yes we are. 

She lulls you into a false sense of security by being adorable and then the next thing you know you’re on the run for committing tax fraud with her by your side.

**_Picani, Emile. A_ **

Now that just sounds like an elaborate anime.

Ngl id watch it

**_Taylor, Meredith. V_ **

Alright, everyone, class is over. I’m ending the meeting and @Kingsley, Remus. B please turn in your work. 

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Byeee

Not like i wont see literally all of you next period. 

**_Picani, Emile. A_ **

I’m not in your next period. 

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Yeah but you're in my third period and literally all of the ones after that so…

Virgil clicked the "Leave" button and got up to get some water.


	2. Period 2: Creative Writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is done with everyone's shit for most of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of Janus and Remus flirting. Remy misses Emile.

Virgil returned to his laptop and logged into his second meeting of the day: creative writing. 

\-----

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Ah yes, my favorite mothers and fuckers. 

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

I don’t know about you but Emile is my favorite and he’s not here right now

**_Kinglsey, Remus. B_ **

I said _my_ favorites, not yours. Fuck off.

**_Kinglsey, Roman. R_ **

Dont mind remus. He’s still upset he cant write trashy erotica for his project. 

**_Kinglsey, Remus. B_ **

ITS ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS IM GOOD AT

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Well maybe you need to expand your horizons, kiddo

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

The only thing im expanding is my dickk

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

That didn’t make any sense. 

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

I dont make sense

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

This is truth

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

I will never understand any of you.

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

There’s only one thing to understand, I wanna get in Janus’s pants

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

I know that. I’m not stupid.

**_Kingsley, Remus. D_ **

Thats debatable.

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Well I’m not the one who thought you got salmonella from salmon

Or that Priscilla was a person and not Janus’s snake even though we’ve referred to her as living in a tank. 

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Hey

I thought you guys were joking

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Why would we joke about someone living in a tank?

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Idk

Like i thought you were talking about like a pew pew tank

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

You are a bonafide moron. 

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

We been knew

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Yo, im really craving some cookie dough rn

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

Like

Like raw?

Isn’t that dangerous

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

No like edible cookie dough

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Technically cookie dough is already edible

You just gotta bake it first

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

Yeah i know you can eat cookies, Virge. But you shouldn’t eat raw cookie dough. You could get sick or some shit. 

Logan tell Virgil he could get sick

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

You do know edible cookie dough exists, right Roman? Roman, were you unaware that edible cookie dough exists?

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

No, like raw raw. Not like eating cookies. 

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

Emile loved cookie dough.

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Why are you talking about him like he’s dead? 

Oh my god is Em dead 

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Roman, they can make raw cookie dough that is safe for consumption. They just take out the eggs so you aren’t able to catch salmonella from it. 

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

Wait they can do that

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Oh my god, Princey. I can’t believe you didn’t know they made edible cookie dough. Wouldnt you pass it while grocery shopping? 

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

  1. I thought it was just regular old prepackaged cookie dough, not that it was edible.
  2. Really? Princey? You used that name in middle school, try harder.



**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

  1. How could you not notice that the packages said “edible” on them
  2. Princey is a classic. I’m never gonna stop using it. 



**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Well, we all know that Roman is not the most...

Observant person. And “Princey” has already become your brand. You can’t really get rid of it now. 

How many times have you tried to get rid of Remus?

And how many times did it _work_?

**_Kingsley Roman. R_ **

Ugh

You’re right.

Probably have a better chance getting rid of Remus than i do getting rid of that stupid nickname

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Rude

Jannie they’re bullying me

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

I thought you were into humiliation?

**_Kinglsey, Remus. B_ **

Im into it when you do it, not my fucking twin brother

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Thats fair

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

I dont think you’re nickname is stupid, Princey. I think it’s clever, ya know, with your last name and such. I’m kinda jealous that I don’t have one based on my name. 

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

Dont be, its horrible

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

At least we arent calling you Romano

**_Kinglsey, Remus. B_ **

I still think that we should bring Romano back

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

So what will it be, Roman?

Princey, or, Romano?

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

Princey then

I dont want to have a nickname associated with cheese

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Okay so i looked up a list of cheeses in hopes to make a _cheesy_ pun but now im drowning in cheese names can someone help

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Theres a lot of different ways milk can chunk

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Hey

Its my job to say cursed shit, Virge, not yours

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

It is estimated that there are 1,800 types of cheese in existence. 

**_David, Patton. T_ **

That’s a lot of cheese

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_**

I kinda wanna try all the types of cheese now. 

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

You’re lactose intolerant

**_Kinglsey, Roman. R_ **

Do you really think thats going to stop him? 

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

No, but one can dream.

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

What else do you dream about Jannie ;)

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

stOP 

No 

Y’all are gross

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

And there Virgil goes, ruining our fun

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Really, Virgil, meddling in the business of others? How crass.

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Says the most gossipy bitch in the room

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Fair point. 

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

I don’t think you should be calling Virgil crass when the guy you’re flirting with almost earned the nickname ‘Stove-Fucker’

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Again, out of ALL of the shit ive done

**_Miller, Jeremy. O_ **

Five minutes till the end of the period. 

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

I would express relief but unfortunately, I still have five more periods with all of you. 

**_Kingsley. Remus. B_ **

Oh shut up you love us

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

I merely tolerate all of your existences. 

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

You’ve spent valuable time with us, much more than would be necessary. One would assume you do care about us to some degree or that you genuinely enjoy spending time with us. 

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Curse you for exposing me like this

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

If I have to be stuck with the rest of these bastards, so do you.

  
  


The teacher ended the meeting before anyone could leave. Leaving Virgil to get ready for his next period.


	3. Period 3: Geometry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton talks more about surrealist memes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii i haven’t updated this one in a while because I have like.... works that are important to me and that have more focus on but have this chapter lmao.

Virgil entered the meeting for his least favorite period: Geometry. It wasn’t that the teacher was unkind, he was just terrible with numbers. 

\-----

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Hypotenuse

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

That isn’t relevant to the conversation at all. 

Today’s lesson is about circles, is it not?

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

I think so

i just wanted to sound smart

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

You do understand that hypotenuses have to do with triangles and not circles, correct?

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

well now i do 

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

I forgot everything from last year

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

We went over triangles last month, Virgil. 

I-

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

oop

the fbi came up behind lo and snapped his neck

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Like a twig

His bones are probably really brittle

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

My bones are not brittle.

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

That sounds like something someone with brittle bones would say

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Hey

Look on the bright side

At least the skeletons wont lay claim to your bones in the great skeleton war

Because theyre so brittle that they wouldnt be useful

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

I will never understand the internet. Also, I don’t have brittle bones.

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Well now it’s canon

Logan has brittle bones

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Internet memes have warped all of your minds beyond sanity. And for the last time, I don’t have brittle bones. 

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

**__ **

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Patton, you’re just proving my point.

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Yes.

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

**__ **

Patton deadass sent me this meme at like four am

I mean like  **wildly gestures at my gender dysphoria** accurate

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Hey

Patton is the one always getting on me for going to bed late

And I go to bed at like twelve

Wtf are you doing up at four am

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Looking at surrealist memes

Obviously

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

Patton sent me this one at like 1 am and told me to go drink water

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

That does sound like him

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

You  _ do  _ need to drink more water.

Otherwise your throat will become as brittle as logans bones

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

For the last damn time, I do not have brittle bones.

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Logan is a calcium-deficient bastard

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

I know where all of you sleep.

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

YOu dont have the balls

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Bold words for someone who shares a name with a fictional rat. 

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

I-

**_Kingsley, Roman. R_ **

hOLY SHIT

**_Kingsley, Remus. B_ **

And the fact Remy had to  _ choose their name _ \- 

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Damn lo 

You just fuckin murdered rem

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Ive been saying this shit for y e a r s but apparently i cant speak because my middle name is phineas

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

I keep forgetting that

I need to start bullying you more for that

Triangle bitch

**_Drake, Janus. P_ **

Fuck off

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

Emmy

Theyre bullying me

**_Picani, Emile. A_ **

What do you want me to do about it

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

Idk make them stooooppp

**_Picani, Emile. A_ **

No i dont think i will

**_Marenza, Remy. A_ **

Right

I forgot you only speak through references

**_Michaela, Floyd. E_ **

Are any of you paying attention? Like at all?

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

I am

**_Storms. Virgil. J_ **

Im not

**_Davids, Patton. T_ **

Im trying

; - ;

**_Michaela, Floyd. E_ **

Well class is almost over, just get your work done. 

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Logan

Logan

loga

N

Logan

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

What?

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Can you help me with the homework? 

ಥ_ಥ

Im so bad at math-

**_Hewett, Logan. D_ **

Fine, what time?

**_Storms, Virgil. J_ **

Uhh, like five is good. 

\-----

The meeting ended and Virgil went to go make lunch. While the break for lunch was usually after fourth period, he preferred to make his lunch during fourth period so he could actually enjoy it during lunch because lunch break was always so damn short. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm surprised I didn't include an Alabama joke in this. Less surprised and more disappointed in myself. I'll probably include at least one in a future chapter. 
> 
> Also fun fact: I got the name "Priscilla" from my cousin's snake. I love her. 
> 
> Virgil's spider will be mentioned in future chapters.


End file.
